How to get started with sex toys (on your own)

rose on a pink chair

Have you ever used sex toys on your own?

Sex toys are popular and growing in popularity, but they can be intimidating for many people who have no idea where to begin. Lots of people assume that sex toys are only for people with vaginas, but there are toys out there for everyone. 

Adding sex toys into your intimate life can help you learn how you like to receive pleasure and give you new ways to get yourself off. If you’ve always masturbated with your hands or pillow, using a toy can introduce new sensations that you might enjoy. You might learn more about how you respond to different types of touch and find new ways to make yourself orgasm that you haven’t experienced before. 

Sex toys can all make your solo sex life more exciting, and they can also translate to better sex with partners too. When you know more about what you like and how you enjoy it, you can tell your partners, who can use it to make sex more enjoyable for you both. It’s also fun to have options when you’re masturbating. You can create new sexual experiences for yourself using toys that you can’t always get on your own without toys.

Here’s how you can get started with sex toys on your own:

Start small 

Start small can be literal if you’re shopping for toys you’ll be inserting into your body, but it can also mean with the price too. If you’ve never used toys before or had anything inside of you, starting with a small toy or an external toy might be a good choice. 

Sex toys can be expensive, and if you’re a newbie to toys, it can be risky to spend big money on a toy you’re not sure is right for you. Many sex shops and online retailers have sections for lower-priced toys. You could also consider trying things that you already have – like a Jacuzzi jet or your showerhead. The removable showerhead is a classic for a reason! 

woman holding a pink sex toy

When you’re ready to spend money, know you can still get great toys at a lower price. Sex toy technology is also making it possible for many new shops to offer powerful toys at a much more affordable price, so you don’t always have to break the bank to find a toy that will knock your socks off. 

Remember, the cheapest isn’t always the best. While it can be a bummer to spend a little more money, shopping at a dedicated sex shop can give you the peace of mind that you’re buying something that even the pros stand by.

Do your research

There are lots of considerations when it comes to sex toys. Are you looking for something that vibrates? Something to insert? Something realistic looking? There are toy options out there for people with penises and people with vulvas, and a lot of toys can be used by anyone. There are also anal and kink-related toys, so there are many options. 

One important area to research is material. Not all sex toy materials are created equally; some are much more body-safe than others. Materials like silicone, metal, and glass are often safer than cheaper plastics. Material can also affect sensation. Metal is heavy and cold to the touch at first. The same is true for glass. 

Your best bet when finding a toy that will work for you is to do as much research as possible. Read reviews from multiple sources. Everyone’s anatomy is different, and everyone’s sex toy needs will therefore be different, so it’s helpful to get a few perspectives to figure out what will work for you.

sexy woman reading a magazine

Ask for help

It’s okay to ask for help when picking a sex toy! There are many places to turn to for help if you’re unsure what will work for you. The staff at sex toy stores are a great option – they’ll know the inventory they carry and the pros and cons of the toys they sell. They’ll also be familiar with people from all backgrounds, and their experience can help you decide. 

Close friends can also be a great source of information on toys. Ask your friends what kind of sex toys they love! They may have some insight that you find helpful that you wouldn’t necessarily get from an employee in a store. 

Social media sex educators and online reviewers are excellent resources when shopping for sex toys. If you’re working with a sex-positive therapist, they can also help you make an informed choice on toys.

Use lube

Lube makes everything better. Lube can make a difference even if you feel like you don’t need any additional wetness than what your body provides. Lube can help add to or change sensations that you enjoy, and it can help make toys feel better. This is especially true for anal toys! 

Lube is your best friend when using anything anally (as is a flared base, to make sure nothing can get lost inside you! That is not an emergency room visit you want to make!), so make sure to have plenty on hand.

woman playing

Many sex toy stores and online shops carry multiple options to find what works best for you, your toys, and your body. Remember that silicone lube can not be used with silicone toys as it can break them down, which would be a shame for a toy you like.

Keep track of what you like

Once you know what type of sex toys work best for you, it will be easier to explore further. If you like intense vibration, a toy like a wand would be ideal. If air pressure is your thing, there is a wide range of higher-end air-pressure toys to explore.

It also helps to notice how each toy works best for you. If you plan on using toys with a partner, you can use your experience with the toy to teach them how to operate it to bring you the most pleasure. If you use it on them, you can use your experience with the toy to help them have a good time. 

hand playing with a toy

In an upcoming blog, we’ll discuss how to get started with sex toys with a partner. If you’d like more support with bringing toys into the bedroom, whether alone or with a partner, working with a sex therapist can help. Get in touch with us today to learn more and get started!